i'm falling apart.

I don't know if I believe in God. I feel indifferent. I don't know if I care. I feel like I do. I do care. I am just confused.

Especially right now. Sure I have done bad things, but I feel like enough bad things have happened to me in return already to get me back for the bad things I have ever done (if that's how it works).

What the FUCK. what the fuck. Why are people so fucking selfish and heartless and hurtful and inconsiderate and awful. WHHHHYYY. why Why WHY!!!!!?????

I can't say I have felt this unhappy and unsettled in years. It's been so long.
I want to say that I can just have faith and be positive and pray and hope for the best, but right now all i want to do is fucking scream and punch walls, then fall asleep for a really long time.

I am trying to not wish horrible things upon others right now, but it's getting hard.

I am blessed, and I am grateful for what I do have. I have a home (for now), and food, and friends, and family and an education, and a car, and health. I am thankful.

but FUCKING come on....give me a God Damn break. i need a fucking break. I need ONE good thing. just one little positive thing. something. anything. please. Jesus Christ...i'm falling apart.